Nothing new...

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, there just hasn't been any new developments lately. I passed my glucose test, so no gestational diabetes! We go to the fetal medicine specialists on the 15th to have him measured and see him again...I excited to see how much he has grown and how much he has changed since the last time we saw him in July. We have just been getting ready to move and preparing for Judah's arrival! My baby shower is on the 18th of this month and I am really excited for that...baby stuff is just so cute =] Judah moves around a LOT and has been sticking his feet up in my ribs lately...I can't wait until he is here so I can finally hold him! It's starting to freak us out a little to know that he will be here so soon. I am just getting over a cold, but other than that he and I are both doing fine... I will post pictures after the ultrasound next week!

Facing reality

Today started off ok and ended a little hard. We went to the fetal medicine specialists this morning for another ultrasound to check on Judah's growth and see how he is progressing. He weighs approximately 2 pounds 4 ounces...but he is measuring about 2 weeks ahead of 'schedule' and apparently that is worrisome. I go for my glucose screening to check for gestational diabetes on the 4th of August and if that comes out abnormal then that could be the cause. Micah and a lot of babies born in his family have been big so they said maybe it just runs in the family...but it seems they are trying to find a more concrete thing to pin it on.
They got some pictures in 3D of his cleft for the first time today. When I saw it I didn't really have a reaction...I actually was kind of ok, but as the day went on I found myself getting a little down about it. I guess part of me held out hope that it was misdiagnosed and it would turn out that nothing was wrong at all. The reality of it really started to hit hard...Overall, I guess the appointment was nice and disappointing all at the same time. I attached the pictures to the end of the post...His umbilical cord was next to the right side of his face so it looks a little distorted over there and they said it made the quality of the images a little fuzzy...but you can make out the cleft in his lip on the left side. They still say it is unilateral but the doctor today said it does appear to be complete, meaning it goes all the way into the nose. They still don't know if he has cleft palate as well, and probably won't be able to tell until he is born.
Some good news is that he is turned head down so they said we probably won't have to worry about him being a breech baby!

Things are looking up

Today was a really good day! I told about 5 people at work about Judah and didn't cry. Normally, I can get out "He has..." before I choke, so hopefully this is a sign that I am coming around. At first I didn't think I would tell many people other than family and close friends, but I am starting to feel like I want to share. Looking back, I guess I felt ashamed in some way...and yes, I realize it is not my fault and I do not blame myself or Micah for any of this, but it felt like my pregnancy or Judah was devalued in some way. I was very worried about what other people would think about him but now I just feel like if you don't like it, then don't look. I didn't think I would want to take pictures of him and now I am kind of excited to plaster them all over the internet when he is born. I guess I realize now that he is worth just as much as any other child, if not more. I think it has helped to tell more people and hear how positive their reactions have been. I am still a little worried about the upcoming tests we have, I just want everything else to come back ok. I am going to just assume he has cleft palate as well, so then if he doesn't I will be pleasantly surprised, but I feel it is poisonous to 'hope' that he doesn't. I'd rather prepare myself now!

Also, I called the counselor at the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialists. Our appointment for the echo cardiogram is next Wednesday, the 29th. Hopefully we will have all good news there...She said she has been playing phone tag with the cleft specialists in Atlanta. Hopefully they will set up something for us soon because I am anxious.

Hopefully this isn't a fluke and I will have lots more days like this one! =]