Today was a really good day! I told about 5 people at work about Judah and didn't cry. Normally, I can get out "He has..." before I choke, so hopefully this is a sign that I am coming around. At first I didn't think I would tell many people other than family and close friends, but I am starting to feel like I want to share. Looking back, I guess I felt ashamed in some way...and yes, I realize it is not my fault and I do not blame myself or Micah for any of this, but it felt like my pregnancy or Judah was devalued in some way. I was very worried about what other people would think about him but now I just feel like if you don't like it, then don't look. I didn't think I would want to take pictures of him and now I am kind of excited to plaster them all over the internet when he is born. I guess I realize now that he is worth just as much as any other child, if not more. I think it has helped to tell more people and hear how positive their reactions have been. I am still a little worried about the upcoming tests we have, I just want everything else to come back ok. I am going to just assume he has cleft palate as well, so then if he doesn't I will be pleasantly surprised, but I feel it is poisonous to 'hope' that he doesn't. I'd rather prepare myself now!
Also, I called the counselor at the Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialists. Our appointment for the echo cardiogram is next Wednesday, the 29th. Hopefully we will have all good news there...She said she has been playing phone tag with the cleft specialists in Atlanta. Hopefully they will set up something for us soon because I am anxious.
Hopefully this isn't a fluke and I will have lots more days like this one! =]
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